Children and Divorce Myths

Myth

“I may be getting divorced from my husband, I have a child pior to our marriage, and am currently pregnant. Can he fight me for custody of my child who came from another relationship, and who has no relationship with the father? and can he fight for custody of the child who has not yet been born?”

Fact: Click to view

In law, any child in a marriage (no matter where they “came from” e.g. adopted, fostered, born before marriage etc) is regarded as a “child of the family” so that he could seek residence of both children. “Residence” is effectively the new word used in place of “custody”.
But, I want you to know that from what you so far tell me, his chances of success would be low. I say this as I think it is important that you don’t worry about this. Children normally end up with their mother despite what the equality theories and political correctness say!

Myth

“My children can decide when they want to see me. I don’t want us all to have to stick to strict timetables on access as it is not practical.”

Fact: Click to view

In many cases, a couple can decide between them, and with the children, on access times. If the couple cannot decide, however, the matter is referred to the court. Depending on the ages of the children, their views may be taken into account, but ultimately a judge could decide on the level and pattern of contact. Ideally you need to try and come to an agreement with your partner that suits all of you.

Myth

“I’m not going to fight with my husband over custody because if I do, my kids will have to go to court and they have already been through enough”

Fact: Click to view

They will not have to go to court. Court proceedings over which parent the child should live with do involve court hearings but your children would not be required to attend. The court will often consider reports by welfare officers when making this decision. During the compilation of these reports, the children would normally be spoken to (if they were of an age where they could give an opinion) by the person writing the report, but these meetings would normally take place at home, or sometimes at school.

Myth

“I have to do what my husband says otherwise he can make me out to be a bad mother and take the children off me.”

Fact: Click to view

Only a court can, legally, remove your children from you. It is not a case of listening to what he claims to be the case, but the court would consider what had really happened, as well as obtaining reports and detailed evidence. Often there is no validity in this claim and in some cases it is simply used as a bullying tactic.