Recent Blog Posts

When I was married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things." My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed. Aren't older women great. They really know how to solve your mid-life crises....

Well, they do to newlyweds these days it seems.

A Daily Mail report says that many happy couples now want to say "forget gifts, just give us money".

The poll for Wedding magazine found 45 per cent of couples would prefer their guests to give them money. I'd always assumed it would be about 90% wanted gifts from a list. In fact only 29 per cent wanted gifts from such a list. Bear in mind most said they would pay for their own weddings and the cost was on average about £20,000!

Were we just too polite in my day and really we wanted, indeed needed, cash but were afraid to ask? I know "my old Dad" would say it was because young couples have everyting these days and don't have to wait many years like they did in his day!

Bear in mind that less than half were intending a church wedding--is this connected?

What reason do you see for this?

Andrew Woolley
Divorce solicitor

Divorce lawyers get used to hearing all sorts of reasons for divorce. They have included breaking wind too often, not mending the loo door, insisting that the family dog or cat shares the marital bed and (surely the most appalling of all) not douing the ironing.

I understand that a Leicestershire man has recently pleaded guilty to having sex with a horse and a donkey, this is referred to in law as "buggery". I don't know what his wife makes of this but could it be grounds for divorce in UK law?

Yes, it could. But not adultery, which is a common ground for divorce. To be the divorce ground of adultery it must be sexual intercourse between a man and a woman. So anything else cannot be adultery. The divorce would need to proceed on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour and I doubt any Judge would think it were not so.

The man is reported (seriously) as not having a stable address........

Andrew Woolley
Divorce solicitor

Do you talk to your spouse?

(I don't mean grunt, I mean talk!)

Well, if you are about to grumble about him or her bear this in mind from the Daily Express. It examines the findings of a survey which suggest that after 50 years of marriage most couples chat for just three minutes during dinner.

The paper contrasts this with young unmarried couples who, it says, spend an average of 50 minutes out of every 60 in conversation. What about, one wonders?

Is there nothing left to talk about after 50 years of marriage?

Andrew Woolley
Divorce solicitor

Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'

Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'

Wife: 'Yes or no.'

But who out of those 2 might be at the receiving end of an divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour?!

Andrew Woolley
Divorce Solicitor

We hear some sad tales as divorce lawyers, I can tell you. But some clients find some of their own sadnesses funny with hindsight--good for them! It is one way of coping with divorce.

As a divorce lawyer, I hope these two things:

1. if you want to stay together, I wish you a wonderful Valentines Day!

2. if you want to get a divorce, I hope you find a way to do so as amicably as possible. We can help with that.

But, back to the lighter side of divorce. I see from the Fox 31 site that they ran a competition for the worst Valentines Day ever. There are some very sad (dare I say amusing?) stories on there but the winner is reported to have had this experience:

My worst and humiliating (really to say the least) Valentine's Day was the day my divorce was final 16 years ago. But to make matters worse was to find out that my own mother was dating my now ex-husband and had been for quite some time. They are still together today, so Valentine's Day is spent trying not to think about it. Wait-I try not to think about it everyday.

What was your worst Valentines experience?

Andrew Woolley
Divorce Solicitor and Valentine card rememberer.

The divorce rate may be down, but it has recently shot up in the case of Swans. (If your name is Mr & Mrs Swan, don't worry, we refer to the webbed feet variety).

Swans normally mate for life and it is extremely rare for them to have a formal separation. "Until death us do part" is their normal approach.

The BBC reports that a pair has split up. It seems they came back from Russia both with new partners and although they are still in the same area of the lake, they seem to be ignoring each other.

Sound familiar?

Andrew Woolley
Divorce solicitor

Yes, I know the law is full of stange old words and phrases. Don't blame me! If I don't use many of them I get into trouble at Court for being rude, they are so ingrained.

Let's look at one. My learned friend often shortened to M'learned friend. Note--as they take it very seriously--if is said "lurr ned" not "lurrnd"!

It actually means you are referring to a barrister, such as our specialist family law barrister Lisa Smith.

I got this wrong once in Court, not realising I was referring to a barrister and said "my friend". The barrister very rudely objected but I was relieved to hear the Judge say to him "If you speak to people like that, I'm amazed you have any friends"!

Andrew Woolley
Divorce Solicitor and....... friend.

I read in The Times that politicians propose to require all divorcing couples to go to mediation. Madness.

Mediation can be good, of course. We often use it at family-lawfirm.co.uk and recommend it in cases where it might help. But it can be "bad" if not well handled and these are some of the reasons:

...forcing people to mediate is not a good start to mediation!
...most people divorcing are over 18 you know! They can make up their own minds and don't need a nanny state involved, thanks.
...mediation works when it is appropriate
...mediation which doesn't work just adds to delay and overall costs

More here.

Andrew Woolley
Divorce Solicitor

I have always thought that the words "quickie" and "divorce" are dangerous (dare I say?) bedfellows, given the British love of double meanings!

Whilst it is indeed the case, let's face it, that a quickie can certainly cause a divorce, is it really possible to obtain a quickie divorce we so often read about?

Andrew Woolley
Divorce Solicitor